Kind, that is brutal how she did it. I'm with KML, doesn't sound like any midlifer I've heard of. I've read lots and lots of accounts over many years. For your sake, I hope it isn't MLC because if it is, you are years and years away from any kind of ending you are looking for in your posts. Can you wait that long? Can you keep yourself on a shelf for 3 years, 5 years, 7-10 years or more hoping she comes back? Can you live with the thought you might do that and she never comes back? What if you make this the best 7-10 years of your life? If she didn't come back, would it matter?
In my own experience, as long as you are praying for a particular outcome, then you are not detached. You really will not know what effect it will have on you or her until you get there. For me, detachment took a long, long time and I think let my H know I was sitting up on the shelf waiting for him. Must be really comfortable knowing you have a nice life you can go back to whenever the fun new one isn't so fun anymore. Guess I can't really blame him for wanting to know he had that Plan B. I could care less what happens now because I have a life I value and the people in my life want to be there. I can't worry any more about the ones who don't want to be.
You may be right about the friend, but does it matter? What is it going to change? DR is helpful, but it isn't a cure-all. That is inside of you.
Cry, scream, run a marathon, do something. Action feels better than inaction. Time goes by much faster when you are busy and focused on other things. That's really what it is about.
