So here we go. I’m going to Complain and whine here because I don’t do it IRL.
I am being hit very hard emotionally. I saw an IG story today FF’s sister posted. Usually seeing him and his GF doesn’t bother me. But today it made me feel so bad for myself. She made a “this is family” with her parents, her boyfriend, and FF and his girlfriend dancing and singing . I knew it was never going to be and him. But why can’t I just have something like that?!? I seriously can’t believe it’s another Christmas and new years alone again. And literally, New Years is alone.
I’m just sad and lonely it is actually causing me pain. I haven’t felt this low in so long. I feel like the most unlovable reject. I know I am not, but it’s how I feel. And I know this feeling will pass. But it’s hammering down on me hard.
I will do what good mothers do. Go home, put on the most excited happy face and indulge my daughter with cookie making and Christmas movie watching. She will never know my heart is breaking.
