He is telling you what he wants, i.e., he wants space and time and he wants you to focus on you and stop trying to change the things that you cannot change and/or control. Listen to what he's told/telling you. If you continue to contact him, he knows that you aren't listening to him and giving him the space he needs right now. Step back! Give him all of the space he can handle.
You have stated that when you weren't in the anxiety mode and possibly stepped back a bit, he would come forward and respond. Do what works! You know that being needy and anxious don't work, so step back, dig deeper for patience and get your inner strength and independence back. Dig deeper for that self confidence and be the woman he saw when he first met you. Needy, begging, pleading, etc. are not good qualities and they will run from that type of behavior very quickly.
He has told you to concentrate on you...so do it! Keep the focus on you and your children during this holiday season. Make the changes that you think that you need to make for yourself and they must become permanent.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
