Thanks for the advice, job and kml. I'll see if I can make this happen.
H has sent an email informing me that he is unavailable for today's visitation, and will be unavailable for next week's as well. No reason given other than "it's a busy time of year". And in the same email, he asked for multiple changes to the current visitation schedule giving him more time at his convenience. Bit of a head-scratcher, that one.
The tone of the email was overly nice and solicitous. I read it as manipulative and guilt-trippy. There were lots of unctuous comments about how the changes would benefit me "and especially S". He mentioned how much the family enjoyed their weekend with S and "we would like the chance to do that more often". He ended it saying "looking forward to seeing you guys at 8am sharp Thursday" with a smiley face emoji.
A few months ago, I would have been thrilled to have 'nice' communication. Now it sets my teeth on edge.
I'm not obliged to agree to any changes, but I do have a change of my own that I've been wanting to raise. So I will lead with that and respond with a compromised schedule. H can take or leave it. He is asking for an overnight, which has never been an option up for discussion to due S1's age, and won't be for another year a least. He knows this.
I won't respond until after Christmas to give myself a break. After Boxing Day, I won't have to see him until the following Sunday. Yay!
