"Walking Out Of The Valley"

[hoosjim]

[/quote]My oldest some was not spying. They have Life360 which allows the family to track movements and how fast they drive etc..... I told him to not worry about where she goes and that I’m fine with it. [quote]

You don't want your kids spying on their mom and, yes, this matter is technically between you and WW and the kids don't need to Know and shouldn't know all the gory details/specifics, but I don't like your answer here.. you're "fine with it"?!? Oh hell no you're not! And I think it sends the wrong message to your son, especially since he knows exactly what is going on. Now, I'm not sure exactly what you should say here because I never had to explain my own very similar sitch to my boys, thankfully, but I did contemplate the possibility because they DID know OM, and I know for damn sure I was not gonna say I was okay with it. If they had found out and asked me, I was going to be VERY clear that I was NOT okay with it, that I wanted to keep the MR/family together, but that OM was pursuing W and I wasn't sure if W wanted to remain in the MR....and that it was not their (my boys) fault, nothing to do with them

As a man, and especially as a father of a young man, I believe you have to set the tone and have to set a good example. Do you need to rant and rave and froth at the mouth? No. But you DO need to be ready to explain and demonstrate that you do ABSOLUTELY care about the sanctity of your family,MR that you WILL try to protect your family and that you have a MAJOR problem with another man messing around with your W. Having said all that, I have to admit I am not certain what the exact right words would be in any particular situation, but I do think you owe to your son to convey that sentiment and as strong, calm, and confident a mamner as you can.

Remember that HE KNOWS!! How do you think that makes you work to say you don't care? You do need to practice detachment for yourself, but that doesn't mean saying u are "okay" with the affair. You can share your feelings with your son, but still let him see by your actions and demeanor that you are calm and grounded and in control yourself.