3 out of 4 weekends I have had my children in Spain one of them or both this time are sick. I know my W spends a lot of time dinning and similar outside because you know life in the south of Spain. Anyway the other day I sent her a message telling her next time to let me know when they are sick specially if they throw up twice or more overnight. I told her that I would be caring not only for how I parent but also how she performs as mother. I also told her is the last time there is a party at school, I am in town, and she sends her parents and does not even let me know.
So today as I gave my W the kids back she told me to never email her anything like that, that she knows my family puts pressure on me by attacking her (this is true btw) and that if I am going to be consistent to be on either that or loving her and telling her I failed. I started validating her feelings calmly and her answer was I was agreeing with her as you would agree with a mentally ill person. In a matter of minutes she was again on anger, she told me I had broken this family, I was the only one to deserve dirt on top and she only had left behind a person she does not love anymore and that is nothing to be criticized. She went on to say we will never ever argue again like this in front of the children or her new neighbors so she asked me to only talk about the kids. Specifically she said, "in the days coming now I will have them do not TM me or call, I only want to speak about the kids, I am making an effort to see you because I cannot even stand seeing your face"
I stood calm, I told her "I know I have made many mistakes and I know I was not the man you deserve. I am firm in reconciliation and the pursue of a satisfactory family life with you, that is what you will see". Today she looked fantastic, so did I but she really got me there. As always, she euphorically salutes our children and wouldn't even look me at the face. After the conversation/argument she left in anger and I told her she looked beautiful and I loved her while looking at her in the eyes.
Tomorrow is Christmas eve, my life is a mix of an emotional turmoil and failure feeling. My wife literally hates me and keeps blaming me for breaking my family and our MR. The woman that once was my safety and happiness shelter now shoots at me the most hurting words I have ever heard. I know, do not believe anything they say, but after they say it 10 times it is hard to remain a rock.
My question today is brief and sad, should I call her tomorrow to wish her Merry Christmas?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Me 29 W:29 M: 5yrs T:10yrs S:6 yrs S:1 yr BD: "I want a D" 08/09/19 Sep: 10/27/19
