D13 is talking to me again. Still quiet and a little sad, but she's eaten with D10 and I and she's initiated conversation a few times. Mainly grooming questions (what's a natural way to lighten your hair, how do I get eyebrows to be even) and a request to go shopping. But its a start.
Today I am taking them into London to do a photoshoot. We are staying in a hotel and then going ice-skating tomorrow. It's left everything a bit tight for Christmas, but it will be nice to spend some time with them doing something which isn't errands, house cleaning or homework. I will be up all night tomorrow though wrapping and preparing for Christmas.
My H came around yesterday. He has a two day trip (back Christmas morning) and he wanted to see the children before he left. He had them sat so it was a little strange, but as I am flexible when it comes to the kids, I didn't say no. He came around at 1:00. He is more or less always on time now (maybe that's his 180) and he looked and sounded a little under the weather. I asked him if he was OK and he said he'd gone out the night before. I said 'oh, that explains it' and left it at that. I didn't ask where he'd been or with whom.
He asked the girls to sit in the family room (D13 on the computer, D10 on the xbox, and him sitting next to her). I went out to get some groceries and then came back an hour or so later. I walked in and he was about to take our dog for a walk. He asked the girls to join him but they both said no. He came back and went and sat in the family room again. I put the groceries away, did some washing, tidied up a bit and then started baking biscuits for the girls. I called up to D10 and said 'Daddy's here to see you, why don't you spend some time with him', and she went and sat with him in the family room. Her on her phone, him on his.
This went on for a few more hours and eventually he came out, took some presents for the girls out of the car and then said he was going. He then told D13 that he was talking to one of his friends dads and then proceeded to tell me the conversation they had (nothing big, just about how much homework the other guys son does). I think it was his way of telling me what he did the night before without telling me. He asked D10 what we were doing in London (not me even though I was in the room) and she said "I don't know" (10 year olds not always great at answering questions, so I told him. I said that we were going to have 'family photos' done. I saw the look on his face when I said 'family', but he didn't say anything. He eventually left around 6:00 - 5 hours he was here.
I am writing this because a) he was here for hours to visit the girls and didn't actually visit them. He sat in a room by himself on his phone, b) he told me what he'd been doing the night before. I wonder (mind reading) why he does this. Is it for the same reason I do (I don't tell him, but I let it slip in conversation, "Oh, I was speaking to so and so last night over dinner and she mentioned ..." so that he knows I was not on a date?
---- why I don't ask him questions -----
He visited the girls about 6 months after he left and went to the grocery store for a few bits. He was gone two hours. When he came back I said 'busy at the store' and he snapped back 'You don't need to ask !!'.
