Last night was my stepdad’s family Christmas dinner. The whole family knows about the separation and the reasons behind it.
I went over early in the afternoon with S1 and we all went for a swim. S1 is overconfident and underskilled in the pool, which makes things interesting. Luckily I used to teach swimming so I can handle it. Once the kids were dressed and occupied with toys, my sister and I did our makeup together listening to Christmas music. Lots of fun!
After dinner, I was chatting with my uncle. He said how disappointed he was with H because he had always loved him like a son. He told me he’d tried to call him a few weeks ago with no answer. I said it was not surprising after H deleted all the family and my friends from Facebook.
Uncle said he was still so shocked and would never have expected behaviour like this from H, who was the nicest guy and always made a beeline for Uncle at family gatherings to chat and have a laugh. He then said something I thought was interesting. He had always thought H was nice, but not the kind of guy you’d expect to have your back in a bar fight. I asked what he meant. He clarified that he though H was not an honourable man.
After dinner, we watched some digitised home videos, including one from my stepdad’s father’s 60th birthday party. I never met him, but my stepdad is one of the best men I’ve ever met, so he must have been a h3ll of a guy. The video captured all the speeches and it seemed he was truly loved and respected by many people. It got me to thinking about my life. What will my friends say at my 60th? Or H’s?
Later, I asked Uncle what gave him that impression about H. He said that even though H went out of his way to speak to him at parties, he noticed that he never included me, or returned to me when he was done. It was always onto the next source of entertainment. He also said that H always served himself first without making sure I had a drink, or was seated comfortably, or had someone to talk to, or whatever.
Uncle’s wife told him he was old-fashioned. Uncle reiterated his strong belief that the most important quality a man has has in life is honour. He implored me to raise S1 with this quality and I promised I would.
