How are you feeling? The flu has been awful this year. I hope you are recovered. It can be hard to GAL when you are feeling crummy. I have been thinking maybe I should replace saying GAL with the term "self care," because it feels more encompassing. GAL sort of suggests we need to go out, do an activity and spend money or energy. This BD stuff can be quite taxing and sometimes we don't have much to spend. "Self care" can include GAL, but it can also include other mediums that we might need to heal and ultimately detach. For me that can be a long walk, a bath, cooking a new recipe, starting a new series or book, or simply throwing a ball with my kids.
I find it interesting that she tells you she is uncomfortable around your family and says "when we are back together." It reads to me as if she is keeping you as plan B. Shame on her. That is not very thoughtful of your feelings. Because if she actually planned on being with you, she would be with you now. Perhaps that is just more delusional wayward speak! I recall my H saying some very dumb things like this when he was in his fog too. Like May's WH, my H thought we could be friends and still have family time, and then he could go off to OW. I had to ax that family time right off because I felt like I was being used.
I was writing to May yesterday and thinking about the differences in dealing with a wayward spouse when there are kids involved vs when there are not. I think the stakes are higher and can be more complicated when there are kids. Both parents naturally want to do right by the kids. It also logistically is much harder to drop the rope or go dark. because you have to share custody and discuss things frequently. On the flip side, when there are not kids involved, it is also could be easier for them to move right along without us and not feel the loss as much.
I am glad you and Yail have linked up.
I hope the holidays are treating you well.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
