For those who have been DBing for a while, how did you get past the feeling disrespected and angry? It is killing me.
My feeling is that even if you want to divorce me, how can you mistreat me this way when I have been loyal to you for 14 years+?.
I used to feel so much anger too, HesAble. I was just writing on my thread about how it's harder now when he is home than when he's out. Just like you say, it seems like one thing for our S to want a divorce, another for them to treat us with less respect than a stranger would after all these years.
I try to let the anger move through me. It helped to have others to vent to, because I didn't want to hold on to the anger, and I didn't want H to see it either. The 'old' me would have given him the reaction he was expecting--any reaction. Part of my 180 is realizing I can't control his decisions, but I can try to not let them affect me or my PMA.
I've only been at this for about six months, but it has gotten somewhat easier to maintain calm. When I do feel anger, it doesn't last as long as it used to, for the reasons mentioned by jac and Job, and probably because I've just gotten used to his behavior. I try to remind myself this is not about me and this is not normal H; this is MLC H grasping for happiness. I come here and read threads and try to summon more empathy for what he may be going through.
That said, he just left the house without saying a word to me (which has been his practice for a while now), and it still makes me a little mad, probably because I can remember when he did at least say bye. It's a process, I guess!
