Standing our ground - together as a family

[Irish M]

Hi Kml, Peace , Job and DnJ

thanks for the support.

Kml, I will start with me and D19. It's a wait to have this test done. I doubt XW is interested.

DnJ, yes family of 5. The girls and her son treat each other already like brother and sisters. So protective of each other.
We did it right. took it slow. No pressure on the kids. Didn’t do the harsh move in and treat the kids as take it or leave it like most parents.

We sadly just refused a house that we picked out. It didn't pass my inspection. You see I sell equipment to building inspectors. So, I was able along with a qualified inspector to see the state of the house. I knew and was looking forward to the upgrades I had to do but the condition of the roof structure would be too much. Also, electrical not to code and I would have to redo it all.

So, we are still looking. I know we will find the right one. It's out there.

Small update on XW.

I had to go to the bank to release some money to D19. Its a college fund I put aside.
The one XW tried to steal when she left.

Well, the last time I transferred money from it last fall, I had to go through my lawyer to get XW to sign a form to remove her name. I don’t like having her name on D19 money and she doesn’t contribute to it, so no point. When I set up these college funds for the girls, I added XW name to the placement in case something happened to me, she could transfer out.
It was set up that we can put money in at any time. If we withdrew money it would go straight into D19 account. Not ours, not mine and definitely not XW.
So I go and sign the form to release some money and I see XW name still there. I asked the bank, why is XW name still there. She was supposed to sign the form to have it removed. Well XW never showed up and it got forgotten. They did try to reach her several times. SO I remind them the lawyers made it clear. Remove her name. The bank says they will try to reach her again.

Later that night I get an e-mail.

XW – I’ll sign on Monday, you are welcome. I am glad to help.
I reply – thanks.
Day goes by.

XW – I’m happy you and the girls are doing good. From what I hear you are all happy. I wish you a happy Christmas and all the best for the New year. I only wish that I can connect with my girls in 2020. I’m always available anytime for them. I will do anything you think would help that happen. You know it’s in their best interest …
I’m seeing a therapist still. Maybe we can all go together? Tell your parents I miss them as well, they were great. Have a good day

Well I got this and it sounded like I heard it before. Oh wait, last Christmas.

I replied – XW, did we have any choice but to move on and be happy. I would like nothing more then the girls connecting with you. I’ve tired over and beyond these past 4.5 years. It was never accepted by you. I am glad you are still seeing a therapist. Mention to them your suggestion of us all going. I’m pretty sure they will say not a good idea as individual therapy is still needed. The girls have their own still and will probably need it for quite some time.
Thanks for getting the papers signed.

No asking if they are ok or updates. I find that has become what I want from her. That will show me empathy and caring has truly returned to XW.

I’m sure I’ll hear from her one more time before New years.

Also if she really wanted to reach out to her girls she would simply email them, call them or Facebook messenger them. To which that is very open.