Hello guys. That first question is tough to answer. I do not know how I would feel if my current R never happened/were over. I had checkpoints along the way and it has been quite a while since I told myself I would accept her back (of course, with months-years of counseling and cooperation). I know W is hurting. I don't know how we would overcome the things that were said, actions, the lies, damage to the children, families, etc... I understand W is in a world of hurt. One thing I always told myself was that she made conscious decisions along the way, regardless of her mental issues. So I can answer that in my current situation, I would not go back. I do not know how to answer if things were different.
The healing process seems to be starting, as I have seen a month of consistent behaviors/actions from W. The daggers a slowing, she cooperates with the kids, dipping her toes with family reconnection. At last conversation, W said she is not ready to commit to reconciling the marriage "at this point" , wants to remain single for some time and think about things. Romantic R with OM is supposedly over and he occasionally comes around as a "friend." I assume he is being put on a shelf as plan B. The kids have corroborated this with the counselor. I know it will be a loooooong road, and I hope whatever clarity visible this past month will stick and grow. It is also, perhaps coincidental, that she is not in good financial shape, the kids are starting to speak up and the drama has been at a lull for several months. So I guess the dust is settling and things are not as shiny as she thought.
I understand the issues with GFs ex. We are exclusive with each other but taking things slowly with moving forward. We are open and honest with each other and it is healthy. I cannot exit a R due to an ex. If things get worse, I would give that consideration though.
I am keeping my guard up with all of this stuff and being cautious, particularly with W.
