I am going to suggest one thing that you need to do...do a credit history report on the two of you. You need to know just what type of expenses on the credit cards and any loans he may have taken that you aren't aware of.
If you do sit down w/him, listen, validate and then tell him you need time to think about what he's proposing and that you will get back to him. Take the data to your lawyer and have him/her look it over. If he gets nasty, just say "I am sorry you feel that way and when you calm down and want to talk further, just let me know" then walk away. You do not need to defend yourself or continue the argument.
You have a good handle on what to do.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
