You can't rush the process and sitting around thinking of ways that you might possibly get him back quickly won't work. The best thing to do is focus on you, what you can control and how you go about taking care of yourself. You have two children that you need your attention. The holiday season is upon us and right now, your children are the main priority and getting through the holidays.
Oftentimes, when we have faith and drop the rope and allow them the time and space to figure things out, they become curious about what we are doing and then will reach out and want to begin doing things together again. Right now, he is an obsession/addiction that you can't let go of for free that he may not return. It's human nature to want the things that are out of reach, but we have to have faith that if we let them go, that they will/may return.
Alicia, If there are things about yourself that you think need to be changed, then work on changing them and make them a permanent part of your life.
Detachment takes time, but it does work. Giving them space and time does work. Focusing on you and your children does and will continue to work. If he opts to contact, treat him as a friend, do not question him, do not bring up relationship talks, just talk to him as you would a service at the local pub. The first step to reconnecting is being a friend and then allowing things to evolve.
As a reminder, we can't rush the process. If you attempt to do so, it may not work and you will have back peddled. Keep the focus on you and your children!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
