Note: It's super interesting that my W thinks (and likely knows) that she has all the power here. She said: "I don't want to give you hope". Like what the hell? She clearly doesn't recognize all that she has put us through in the past year. Leaving her son, putting our family in debt for the first time, broken friendships....and I've stood by her and tried to empathize with her struggles. And she doesn't want to give me hope?? The crazy thing is she's right, I give her too much power and I'm going to continue to detach and GAL. Humans are complicated.
jac ~
Think of her like a squirrel coming to eat seeds from your hand. She's super cautious, and at the slightest movement from you she may run away. That is what she is telling you. She doesn't want you to have hope because she doesn't know what she wants right now.
I encourage you to work on those feelings about the last year. It's completely natural to feel some resentment and hurt. We might DB but we are not robots.
At the same time, those feelings ultimately will prevent a healthy R if you ever reach that point.
Hang in there, man. The holidays are tough and bring up a lot of emotional baggage.
