I know exactly what you mean by your last post Uni. they gave up they quit nits checked out because we couldn't be in the present in the now and realize the subtle signs they were trying to tell us the whole time. They were reacting based on their feelings and their emotions based on what you were giving them and you didn't realize it at the time. You and I know that these are skill sets and they are fixable things through proper counseling and communication. They wanted you to adhere to their agenda and they wanted you to fix things then but they wanted you to figure it out without actually having to tell you. Now that they are checked out all of a sudden we want to fix things and improve on things it is too little too late. It all has to be for you to changes and all has to be demonstrated through actions silence is actually your best friend make friends with it. regardless of how Justified they may seem in their own perception in mind always remember that they are the ones to end it, quit and vilify you on a vow is because you failed to meet their expectations whether realistic or unrealistic logical or delusional. Keep in mind that they gave their time their effort their thoughts their body and they're sold us so for them to turn cold and move on fast is not uncommon. They do not adhere to the past the way we do since their future no longer benefits from it. This is something we have to accept
IHCLACS ~
Yes, she wanted me to change on my own. But I understand and empathize with it. It took the BD for me to change, by which point it is too late. It's the same script that happens over and over with couples.
In the same way, I don't want to have to point out the changes SHE needs to make in order for me to consider a R (if she ever came around to wanting one herself). If I am to consider R, I want HER to come knocking on MY door. How Shakespearean.
Let me guess? You keep getting the "You can keep a knocking... But you can't come in..." From XW? LOL..Walls are funny like that. Sometimes they are meant to guard and protect. Other times they are used as an unnecessary weapon from a person that is hurt.