Curtis, time is precious...time doesn't stand still for any of us. It's important to use that time wisely and that means keeping the focus on you and your family and living your life as if she may not return. Continue to have faith and hope for those two things will help you each and every day...but you need to allow the man upstairs to work on your wife and stop taking the wheel back from him as he is still attempting to work on her.
Keep the focus on YOU!
^^^^^ BINGO!!! Stop trying to get ahead of God. People have free will they can choose the sinful nature or his nature. They can have patience to allow God to work things out with his will and in his time and not ours this is something I'm learning to develop more patience in. Cuz I want you to think about this you are putting your will and your fixation on your ex-wife over everything else in your life when they have decided suddenly not to choose you. I have had a year of space from my ex-wife since we date and the only thing that I've chosen to make improvements on has been very little because I've been so fixated on her and my situation as I've watched her gradually change somewhat for the better but away from the marriage. the answers you come up with cycling over and over in your head again do matter and but eventually in the long run they don't matter the reason why is because you are squandering time when you could be focusing on your life and changing yourself I'm sure you've made a lot of great changes I've seen it in your post. Some days I make awesome change internally and externally and some days I just sit around feeling sorry for myself and then I get angry at myself and say why did I do that why did I waste my energy and procrastination capacity everyday.
Coming back to my point is for the last year I've been going round and round in my head with anxiety fluctuating between anger sadness realization epiphanies indifference, gain, happiness small contentments, resentments, powerplace pridefulness stubbornness sometimes the willingness to let go. It's all part of the growth process and you have to forgive yourself for it and be patient with yourself your life, your spouse and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Curtis if you really love them for who they were who they are and who they want to be on their own free will and still not have it affect you? More importantly can you not be controlling of her. She feels controlled by you a lot of them do even mine I think? Mine once said to me months ago she said she finally feels like she has a voice. Or something to that effect. I said Lee realized anxiety in the dysfunction that I brought irritability anger the lack of communication and understanding. At this point it's got me really questioning in my head on whether we were really compatible? I've kind of Rewritten history myself since I've been alone. I know there were good times there I know what there was love there and I know that there was commonalities here but I also know that there were severe disconnects that developed to either because of her lack of communication with me or because of my lack of effort the process to understand. Sometimes we miss the forest for the trees in hindsight is 20/20. How hard is it for you to let her go? How is this attachment to her serving you? I bet it's someone of a hindrance on your well-being here and there not always but most of the time. More importantly how much of the stuff do you think that you're doing that everyone here is telling you that you're doing are you willing because you want to be a better person. We all have sides to us we have loving caring giving compassionate understanding attentiveness to us but we also have anxiety irritability anger unforgiveness resentment bitterness pridefulness lustfulness gluttony greed laziness. Curtis most of them are doing what they're doing because they feel controlled and as a result of it rebellious. Heres something unimaginable your ex wife is sleeping with three different guys right? you know it's sinful you know it stands against the marriage and you know that it's not of God ordained ways. Morally Incorrect and you know it. Do you still think you can be happy for her and those circumstances if she's happy? Do you still think you can love her even though you know she's making the wrong decisions? Do you think you can let her go to let her learn for herself? House silent do you think you can be to let her learn for herself? I've learned that God is silent in our lives and he lets us stay stuck in sin we choose it until we learn not to anymore.
Here is my self-admitted hypocrisy. I smoke cigarettes forgetful and patience I sometimes have an angry side I'm lost will and sometimes attached. I don't move or change fast enough because I let my emotions rule me instead of just doing what needs to be done consistent basis. the choice is more important than the outcome because without making those right choices we forever remain stuck. The positive or negative feelings we result from those choices are just that results. let her choices change you let the lack of her change you let your circumstances in your suffering change you use it as a catalyst to become more self-aware and move upward in action Mind and Spirit. Even then they are still in the dark. We have to leave them there it's their choice is there free will. Make your peace with where they are in life and who they are and let them go and forgive them for it. I have to get to work I'll add more later
