This is really good. Keep doing this, Kristin - very important.
Originally Posted by KristinG
I had a good friend tell me that "maybe ww and I were just meant to be friends in the end". She told me this several months ago and at the time I was hurt and angry at the statement. It has stuck with me, and lately, I have pondered the same.
I caution everyone the same when it comes to friends, even best friends. They try to empathize with your situation and are trying to make you feel better - which is awesome. But it is impossible for anyone to predict what will happen in the future, and it is not possible for anyone other than you to see from your perspective. Only you know your situation completely.
I have had several esoteric and metaphysical discussions with Unchien about meditation and thoughts during our time here at DB. You may have read a few of them. Basically the idea is that a "thought" is just that - a thought. It doesn't predetermine anything, and it doesn't mean anything. It only starts to mean something if you choose to believe it is true - and it is at that point it becomes a choice, for you to decide to go in the direction the thought leads you, or not.
I'm not the best at explaining it - I'm still learning this very different way of viewing things myself. There's a book called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Eye opening read - a great companion read to DB and DR. Check it out if you get the chance - it has helped me tons.
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Don't get me wrong, I am obviously still in love with her and attached and all of that super fun stuff. BUT, the thought has crossed my mind that I don't know if I / we could ever move past all of the trauma. Furthermore, would I want to try again with someone that could so easily walk away? These musings don't hurt as much to think about anymore and I'm planning to spend some time in self reflection letting them marinate.
It is good to think about things critically. I think it's important not to let these thoughts consume you, though.
In the future, if WW ends it with OP, is truly remorseful for what she has done, commits to NC with OP, and commits solely to you and only you, then and only then, those are discussions that can be had - if you choose to have a new R.
In the meantime, focus on you and what you want.
Like Steve85 told me the other day - I'm paraphrasing here - Any house can be rebuilt if there's a strong enough foundation.
