I agree with you all and I am not ready to be married again I was just trying to articulate that it is heading down that path. and it's scary. Honestly, I do need more time. I also know that I see a side of her that no one else sees.
She has made it very clear what her intentions are however she is not putting pressure on me. Sure, little comments here and there but nothing really major. We have not been ring shopping either, I have no idea what she would even want.
I know how she treated her XH, Even her own mom she is reluctant to help because in her opinion her mom wastes money and the Dr. doesn't want to help fund her lifestyle that her mom can't afford. I have never asked her for anything, On the weekends we will split if we go out both nights and if it something she wants to do then she will pay as well (her idea). The Dr works hard and she expects everyone else to work hard as well. She is a very strong woman, speaks her mind and is extremely smart. I am stereotyping here but she is not the stay at home type of person where hubby is out working and she is doing her thing with the kids, driving a big fancy car, getting her nails done, etc. That is totally not her. She clips coupons, buys clothes off of Ebay, shops at Aldi, buys second hand clothes for her son she is a saver and does not live a fancy lifestyle.
I dated my XW 3 years before we got married and we lasted 17 years total. Looking back I ignored more red flags with my XW than I should of however back then I was young and didn't know they were red flags. I know more now and agree with kids it does raise the stakes.
She is different with me though and treats me differently. Not sure why but she knows I do not need anything from her, I have made that very clear, I don't care about a pre-nup, I don't want her money and I also don't care about her taking my last name. Due to her practice she doesn't want to change it, I understand that. I really could care less about any of it so maybe those are the reasons why. She knows I am and would be perfectly fine without her. I do love her but I can take it or leave.....this is peanuts compared to the last 3 years of my life and my Divorce. I know she loaded me up with xmas presents, made the comment how easy I am to shop for and she could do it for days. I told her to stop and that I don't need that much. She told me I am a blessing to her and that I deserve it. I was like ok baby, whatever, just don't expect that many gifts from me. She said she didn't care and to stop buying her presents and to not go over budget.
I have read that women go on so many more dates than men do so they really have a good idea of when they find a keeper. Maybe that is just the case or maybe it is just the honeymoon phase. I guess only time will tell.
