Separated after LTR & want to reconcile. How?

[Pack_19]

Hi Alicia,

Not sure if I can relate because I have only been separated 2 months but I definitely want R and every time I have tried to talk about us I set W on fire and there is yelling. It is the worst feeling thinking there is love left in their heart and all you want is a new blank sheet to prove you can be the person they need. My W is a totally different person as when I talk about children. Anyway, all I can recommend is to give both your H and my W a good dose of GAL. Following an external reference that recommends PIES here is what I have been doing:

P - Physical:
> New clothes
> new haircut?
> Excercise, lose weight
> Eat healthy, new cologne
> Walk more often
> travel and have fun alone

I - Intellectual:
> Read on topics that attract you
> Visit museums
> Talk to people at work, learn from them
> Play an instrument - I am learning piano

E - Emotional:
> Become a better listener, practice with everyone
> go out with friends, make new friends
> practice validation of feelings
> Read about R, MR and books like "The 5 love languages"

S - Spiritual
> Meditate
> Reconnect with humanitarian help
> go back to church or similar
> volunteer with elderly people, refugees or children

Following the idea that we can only control ourselves, all we can do is turn into that best version of us and stick to our values. Since you are here I am sure you have strong values, I consider myself the same. Then we will be ready for the world to throw us anything that is to come, be that D and a new painful start or the best of the R ever seen.