This is quite true, but there's also that nagging thought that this may be temporary and that maybe they are going through something akin to being sick and therefore we might feel it's incumbent upon us to wait it out for their sake. I think almost every one of us would agree that our old spouse, the one we married, would NEVER BD us and leave us like this.
Yes, I definitely alternate between the feelings you describe, HesAble, and what AnotherStander describes here. Six months in, it's harder and harder to imagine ever being able to trust my H again in the future, given how absolutely certain I was before BD he would never treat me this way, which makes me very sad. It doesn't seem right that a love that I felt was solid should so quickly dissolve.
At the same time, when he acts like a teenager, I find myself thinking maybe, maybe he will grow up and out of this phase. In my gut I feel that my H is lost and desperate to stop hurting, and if I was in the same state, I would pray that my H would have faith and some constancy, at least for some time, given how long we've been together.
Which I guess is why it's important to remember that it's a decision I make day by day, to try to keep even a sliver of that faith. And even on days I don't feel that faith, I guess the answer is the same: I keep moving forward, hour by hour. Who knows what the future will bring?
Of course, sometimes those hours are torturous! I'm thinking about your earlier comment, and about the nights when I wake up and hear my H come in at 2 or 3 or 4 a.m., knowing he'll be up at 6 to go to work. I think: teenager! I think: How long can he possibly maintain this lifestyle? I go back to sleep. But sometimes I spend too much time awake, feeling frustrated or angry.
I'm glad you asked this question, because it's helpful to read all of these responses and know we're not alone.
