I just booked a room down town......I let her know we had plans outside of our normal bubble she got super excited. She suggested low key but left it up to me. Some how it came up what we did on New Year's Eve last year so I told her. I actually took the girl I was dating at the time out to a nice restaurant so if she just got a low key evening after a year I felt that would have not been good!!! She told me she doesn't care where she goes as long as it's with me. I have a lot of responsibility!
I am actually pretty scared because I know with her she isn't down for years of dating. I think she is ready to go. she told me she would never do anything to intentionally screw up our R. She hasn't met my mom and step dad yet so that gives me some time!!! Her best friend is going to get engaged on Friday and we have been invited to the restaurant where it is going to happen so we will be witness to the surprise. That is not helping me at all! She then made the comment that just because they get engaged doesn't mean they will be married right away. I took that as a hint......bahaaaa.
I don't think she started off hard on her XH, it just happened over time. She is tough on her son but truthfully I could be tougher on my girls. She has her S full time though so I get it. Much different than being a 50% parent. She has also indicated that she could have been much more supportive of her XH than she was. He also had ED issues as well so they didn't have sex, he didn't have a job, so in the end she got in her masculine and just had her thumb on him.
You know L it's all about what your willing to give and what they are willing to accept. If you run across a great woman who wants to get married but you don't and would rather have the committed, separate house situation then something has to give. It's coming up on 3 years for me since my XW left so I mean I am not going to be single forever.
I knew very shortly after I met her that she was not a 3 or 4 date, have sex, casually date, and done type of girl. On date 4 she asked me what my 10 yr plan was. So I was like oh boy, I knew she was a keeper but I had no idea what to do but when I thought about ending it I couldn't do it.
My struggles have been real and I have had to work through some stuff emotionally during this time. I knew she was a keeper, I wasn't quite ready emotionally but I know I would have regretted ending things early because it was my own [censored] I was dealing with. I hope you are not faced with that situation L especially as you really realize and come to terms with you and the XW will never be together again. When you finally, really shut that door it's tough.
