MLC or Exit Afffair?

[may22]

My H was like that at first. Distant, cold, angry. I could feel the resentment coming off him in waves every time we were in the same room. Rewrote our M history. Lashed out at just about everyone around him. The peak of this was right around BD1 (ILYB) nine months ago.

I read DR and the 7 Principles and implemented 180s, GAL, validating and listening (rather than trying to defend myself or accuse him of something back), and turning towards his bids when they did come-- very rarely at first, but more and more often. I feel like we went from negative sentiment override to positive sentiment override. We stopped fighting and now are getting along better than we have in years.

I just share this as I'm still in the same boat in terms of my H not "waking up" in wanting to work on the M, but the alien is gone. I don't know what that all means but just a different experience than some others. And part of me is weirdly envious-- it seems easier to detach and grieve the R when your H is an a**hole alien vs a nicer version of himself in nearly every way... except he can't let go of AP.

Anyway. Hang in there. Good for you in still making fun Christmas plans and not letting him ruin them.