Hopefully you will eventually come to realize that he is not the cause of your problems, he is a "result" of them. Your problems stem from your W going through something. It's mental and emotional, she's confused and in turmoil and making extremely poor decisions because of it.
Rarely do this things happen in a vacuum. In the vast majority of cases that LBS's behavior was a major contributing factor. If they don't recognize and changes for the better that there is no reason to recon.
Yes there is the odd case where the WAS just goes of the deep end.
If this is the case then why wouldn’t counseling help with maybe resolving these issues? Of course if she is still in contact with the OM then counseling becomes a waste of time. I know my part in contributing to the affair. I realize I was never around, neglected her needs, didn’t make her feel attractive and wonderful, was always playing golf, and never spent a lot of time together as a family. Of course I have been doing those things for the past 5 months and this hasn’t worked.
She has acknowledged it and even mentioned I have been a great father and our son had benefited from this crap. She doesn’t see any benefits for her. Like today when I didn’t answer she just replies, somethings never change. I can’t win for losing.
Maybe the damage from the past is too much. What I do know is that at this point I need to focus on myself and my son.
