Amidst a nasty process.....reconnection

[Rita]

Question for you - would you be interested in reconciliation if you weren’t with new GF?

I was going to ask the same question! Though the way you write about it, it sure looks like you would be but you are scared to imagine starting that long road.

Her ex is a sadistic narcissist and has caused many problems in levels i never imagined. It is tiring and I don't know how much more I can take. Perhaps this is a good point to do some soul searching?

You are a doctor and know a lot about statistics and prognoses. The rate of divorce for a second marriage is extremely high. I know now more than ever that we marry our spouse's past as well as his/her family. You'd be marrying a new spouse's past, her family, AND many years to come of problems with her ex. If you are already tired 8 months in, soul searching sounds like a great idea.

Maybe Hamburg solo (Hamb Solo?) would be a good path to take for a while. You will be able to see things more clearly if you are coming from a place of reflection and peace instead of feeling like you are choosing between two women.

Also -- if you know your wife is in MLC, I don't understand why you keep being surprised that she is confused or contradicts herself or says she doesn't want to be with you and then implies she misses you. It seems like your W is pretty much following the script.