waw maybe #5

[bhappy2]

Hello all... Havent been on in a while but I need to share with anyone who doesnt believe they can get through this...

Please if you are really hurting and the pain is unbareable go get help!! You may not be able to cope on your own. There are many resources to help you, dont be afraid to ask for help from anyone. The following story just happened last wednesday and it is the hardest thing to understand.

When my sitch first started I reached out to many coworkers that had the same thing happen to them as me, we all worked night shift for many years and the patterns were the same. Unhappy wives who moved on to greener pastures, as a matter of fact the divorce rate was prob around 80% for the dept. I was in. It looked to me like after many years of working nights it took its toll on the marraige.

So one of the people I spoke with was a long time friend who was further down the road then me and was already divorced. He maintained a friendship with his ex and he was still trying to get her back. He had many issues in his marraige but besides working nights he also had some financial instability. A few moths ago his business partner stole his investment and he was on the verge of bankrupcy.

I had so many conversations with him over the last 2 years and many times we spent 2 hours or more talking about working on ourselves and such. I must say he had me fooled about how good he was doing. I was doing all the reading, watching all the videos... following the suggestings on this site. I was and still am doing well. I have a clear understanding of what needs to be done as hard as it is.

My friend move away from his ex and started to do well in his new business, he would come home every few months to see his adult children. When he was home he would see his ex and they did sleep together which gave hime hope that they could get back together. He really thought the more he had sex with her the closer they could get to being together. NOPE... wasnt going to happen, she had an agenda and it wasnt reconcilliation.

So he loses his business, has no money, moves back to the area and has to live with a family memeber bc he has no money. He begins calling the ex. She now wants nothing to do with him, he tries harder and harder... she pushes him further and further away. His kids are now telling him to stop. Hes distraught, he upset, cant think straight...he will not reach out for help. He goes out with a friend (another co worker whos W left him) they have dinner, a few drinks. He gets dropped of and then decides to go visit the ex. He gets to her house and she lets him in and he begins to beg and plead... I love you I want my family back together... she tells him no its over... his adult child is there telling him he needs to leave...he walks out the front door and kills himself... Unreal!!! devistated... heartbroken....

Go seek out help, its never that bad... you will get through this.