I just re-read your first post. Where do you live? Are you in the US or someplace else?
Things that work are completely counter-intuitive.
For example, you work on the marriage by not working on the marriage. This takes all the pressure off.
It is critically important that you do not try to control her. Your natural instinct is to attempt to convince her that she should stay married. This is also pressure. "You are free to do what you want" is the mindset you need.
You both have issues. The only person you can control is yourself. Focus on making positive changes. Change the way you behave, the way you interact. You fix you. She fixes her.
You did a great job at listening to what she said. Validating her EMOTIONAL FEELINGS should be your number one goal when interacting with her. You should be her rock. Let her be as emotional as she needs. She needs to feel safe expressing her emotions to you. You should not let her emotions effect you at all. How you handle her emotion is important. Reflect back to her how she feels with your words. Read the validation thread over and over.
