Newlywed and in crisis

[SteveLW]

funbun, thanks for the details. That helps. A lot.

You need to just back way off and give her time and space. Let her make her decision. Do not try to reason with her.

Concentrate on yourself, GAL, 180 on any poor behavior on your part (maybe get into IC to explore what that might be), and detach. Detachment is so important because it keeps you from applying pursuit and pressure. Your goal for right now is to stop all pursuit and pressure.

I would wait on separation. Likely you are exploring floating that because you are under the what we call the "illusion of action". You feel you must DO something. Anything. However, what you need to understand that doing nothing IS doing something. Most of the time in DBing, doing nothing is the right approach.

So take some time, think it over. Don't do it out of the feeling you need to do something. There is nothing worse than deciding to suggest this, having her take you up on it, and then regretting the offer.

Deep breaths. You are going through a lot of awful stuff at a time when you should be beaming with happiness and hope for a new life together. It is traumatic, and you need to take the time necessary to process everything and think things through.