I did a backslide tonight and feel terrible. W and I were previously on the same page on what toys can come to our dinner table. D4 told me W allowed a toy today that wasnt allowed in the past. Being so little and things said often misconstrued, I asked D4 if the toy was on the table or just close by. She said it was on the table and went to find W and thinking she was in trouble for having the toy at the table, she started crying.
Feeling disrespected that W changed the toys at table rule and to see D4 crying over her parents telling her different things, I told W "this seems like good coparenting right now". No yelling or raised voice but there was some frustration and sarcasm in my tone which I regret. I stated that we need to stay on the same page with these things to avoid a situation like this for D4. She apologized and asked me to change my stance. I offered an alternative option which she didnt like so I stood my ground, maintaining our previously held rule.
Over something so minor, either way this panned out, it seemed lose, lose for D4 and I. I want to apologize for my tone, but I'm not sure if thats NGS or fear of a repercussion coming out. Thoughts?
Pick your battles. In the big scheme of things is the toy at the table really worth going to battle over? This is going to be one of many many changes that you encounter in her parenting style. Remember, this is not the girl you married!
My other advice is to not react. Take some time, calm down so you aren't emotional when you confront her. Jumping up and confronting her right then was not the right move because you hadn't even had time to process it.
I am with LH, apologize only if you were wrong. Do not apologize just because you feel bad for her.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
