LH and Steve, thanks for the responses.

I texted a note of apology. Felt like the right thing, especially as I think the type of action I showed is one I need to maintain my 180 on.

To Steve's point, my actions were impulsive, which I know means were not well thought out. Seeing D4 crying always breaks the heart, but I see its something I need to let her experience as well. Not something for me to fix, same as my W's or anyone else's feeling for that matter. Thankfully I'm in IC, we just have been derailed as the BD was a shock to us both when IC started. Tells you how disconnected I was from W's feelings. The inner conflict does remain strong especially holiday time, the want for a our first happily family xmas pic is real.

Last edited by job; 12/18/19 03:04 PM. Reason: added space between paragraphs
H37, W37
D4, S2
ILYBNILWY 9/19
BD 9/19
EA discovered 10/19
Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated