GB - you want a relationship but don’t think you’ll ever have one - why is that?
Yeah the young guys are fun but generally not leading to anything long term. Have you tried being the one to reach out to guys closer in age? ( For me that has been guys ten years younger or less, I’ve still only dated one guy older than me since my divorce but not by design).
I’ve generally had good luck by reaching out to guys I found interesting online.
I think you might be deliberately sabotaging by picking unavailable or inappropriate men, people who something long term cannot develop with. I did this unconsciously the first few years after my divorce.
Are you still struggling with your body image? Still afraid to get in a real relationship because you might get hurt? Or just not willing to deal with one until your kids are grown?
I have to admit - right now in my dating life, becoming a Love Avoidant with a few good FWBs looks kinda good. (Long story short - boyfriend who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 3 mos after we met is living with me but turns out to be difficult to live with because of his Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder/ germophobia. )
But if what you want is a nice long-term relationship - try reaching out to the guys who interest you online. Look for ones who don’t look like they’re obsessed with the gym (the body perfectionists are not gonna be a good influence on your body issues). And remember - You Deserve to Be Loved. You’re capable of it and sounds to me like you’re getting a little closer to being ready to allow it into your life.
