Newlywed and in crisis

[funbun]

Thank you everyone for your kind response.

As your wife is very religious, did you have a short engagement? Was the sexual relationship something you saved for marriage and do think this might have been a shock to her? Did you have any pre-marriage counselling?

We were engaged for about ten months. As we are both Muslims, we avoided any sort of physical intimacy since the act is considered sinful in our religion. Yes, we had sex after the wedding, it was a bit awkward for both of us (we both understood and expected this) but we were both considerate and loving during the act. I asked her about it and she said she didn't have any problems with the sexual part of our marriage.

I went through a brief time where a part of me felt down about the change. I remember leaving the house and crying as if I was mourning my old life. I loved my H and was happy to be married, but a part of me was sad. I researched it at the time and found it to be a common period of transition where a person can go through depression.

Yes, I did a bit of research on it as well. It might be something called 'Wedding Depression'. I suspect W might be going through something similar, though her's might be a more extreme version of it. How long did it take for you to get out of it? And what helped you go through?

Is this an arranged marriage?

It is not. We were friends for a year. I asked her out. Dated for another year. Then I proposed to her and she said "yes". She was very happy at the prospect at the time. Engaged for 10 months, and then we got married.

This goes against my standard recommendation, but you should CONSIDER speaking with her father for insight. I am not saying do this, but he may have thoughts and wisdom for you.

I discussed the matter with her side of the family. They were quite baffled themselves but thankfully they were quite understanding and supportive. Her parents advised to give it time and not do anything rash. They said she is known to be quite childish and to dislike changes. So maybe I should give her time to let everything settle in for her. Her parents also recommended me to stay with her and not separate, because they fear the separation would make it worse. Her siblings didn't want to take sides and only wished the best and happiness for both of us; whether that means together or otherwise.

Everything feel so unreal and yet this is the reality I live in. W kept reminding me that she wanted out almost everyday and I get the cold treatment every time I talk to her. I do not know how much of this I can take. The only good thing is that her family is treating me well and that is keeping me from breaking down. It's just so hard. How can one be continue to be loving to someone that does not love back.