Newlywed and in crisis

[funbun]

So a bit of background information. We’ve been together for almost two years now. Our relationship can be described as one sided. Out of the two of us, I am the more romantic person and have no problems expressing my affection. My partner on the other hand can be described as “hot and cold” when it comes to the relationship. Some days she is warm and affectionate but then other days she is cold and distant. Because of this, whenever she is cold, I often bring it up and asked for her to be more affectionate. It often didn’t go well because she’ll get upset and shut herself down. We argued about once a week. However, we always managed to reconcile and reach some sort of compromise. But the same pattern kept happening: she becomes cold, I’d get upset and talk to her about it, then she gets upset, then we reconciled, she becomes warmer for a while and then goes back to her earlier behaviour. Over time I sort of realized that what I was doing was that I was trying to am trying to change her and that is bad and so I tried to accept her as she is. Hoping once we’re married everything will be better (she explained to me that she can only show 100% of her affection once we’re married. I took it as us being muslims and therefore are not allowed to be physically intimate unless married).

To be honest, after the wedding everything was fine. We were both loving and I was content with everything. The first few days were blissful. It baffles me how she broke down and gave up on everything just like that. I too had doubts about the relationship prior to the wedding but I had a strong belief that we can make it work. I do not understand why she couldn’t give the marriage a chance. We have a whole life ahead of us and plenty of time to work things through. I don’t understand why she’d given up and wanted out.