[Georgiabelle]

Hi everyone,

Happy holidays! Gosh, I’ve been catching up on everyone’s threads. I’ve missed so much.

Life is busy. Kids are great. Dog is spoiled. Work is nutty. House is a mess but I feel good. If I’m being honest and according to the attention I get, I look pretty hot for a 47 yr old. Ha! That makes me sound super egotistical and nothing could be further from the truth. Again, I’m basing it on attention :-) My PT tells me all the guys at the gym and in my nutrition group ask about me. He said he’s never had this happen before. I told him it’s because I’m one of the oldest peeps there. I suspected that they were asking about me, so..... well, my ego is fragile and I’ll take the ego stroke.

It’s a weird time of year although I do enjoy the holidays on some level. I DID remember BD day this year and it kind of hit me. It does SEEM (and I realize that is perception) like everyone is paired up. Many of the guys I met during the spread out 3 months of OLD are now in relationships. Ex Mr GB is married. Ex Bf after Mr GB has a gf. Even the guy I dated for a couple of months earlier this year is with someone. A good friend who hasn’t dated in over 5 years is now in a R. Another friend who had not been on a date in 6 years is now in a R. It IS cuffing season so lots of peeps are paired up. Me? I’m lonely. However, and I don’t think I’ve been in this place before, I’m not sure I have the capacity to date right now. For the first time, I’m not sure I EVER see myself in a relationship again. And that makes me incredibly sad.

I’m one of those weird people who enjoyed OLD. But in full disclosure, I’ve done very little of it. I enjoy meeting people because everyone has a story. And honestly, I NEVER put any expectations on OLD. If I meet someone cool, then I met someone cool. I always had a good time on all of my dates. I realize if I want to date, that is the route I will have to go. Again, no expectations. Occasionally I’ve gone out with men my age or within a few years, most of the men I’ve gone out with have been under 35. Why? All were funny. I’m sure almost all are considered attractive but the real reason is they asked me out. There is nowhere to go with those peeps. Actors. Models. FFs. Former pro athletes. Police Officers. More Actors. I’m not saying those guys aren’t capable of relationships because I’m sure they are. However, those relationships will not be with me and I’m well aware of it. Men with kids generally don’t ask me out although I did go out with a guy who was retired, 49, had a teenager, and was a former gym owner. (Have I told you guys all the guys I attract work out 2 hours a day? This is hilarious because I don’t really enjoy working out. I would rather drink my full fat milk from the jug and wash the cookies down). He was very attractive. Engaging. And polite. And I felt not one darn thing.

Because I’m a cliche, I do have a semi crush on my PT. Don’t all women have a crush on their personal trainer? He’s very sweet and funny. Did I mention he is hot? He is also very concerned about who I go out with and he’s actually called the night of or the next morning after the date. I think he feels bad for me🤷‍♀️ I told him I’m just going through a transition and hopefully I’ll come out on the other side better. I’ll still be single but maybe I can just make peace with some of what I feel because I simply don’t see me ever getting in another R. I teared up writing that and I’m being candid about the way I feel. I miss hugs, kisses and that other physical stuff. Oh well.

Excited though. Ex MR GB has the kids the week after Xmas (he does help if I travel for work provided it doesn’t interfere with his plans) so I’m leaving the country. I’m going to Belize and swim, drink and lounge on the beach for 6 days. I’m ready.

Sending everyone hugs, health and peace. Xo