I'm concerned with the advice being given here without any professional guidance.
Professional guidance is important.
These forums are for brainstorming ideas that fall in line with MWD DBing methods. Each poster needs to take in all the ideas, and if they have professionals involved, discuss them, and make choices.
I have had family therapists set up in the past. SD is seeing and IC right now. Last week D17 ask if I could setup IC for her.
Originally Posted by kas99
You want me to spend money on counseling but the only way for me to do that is to touch savings. Take the risk or do what I want to do which is ride this out for another 2 months.
KAS, if you are not in IC, do that first. You put your oxygen mask on before helping others. Then you help the children get theirs on. Do not wait.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I'm concerned with the advice being given here without any professional guidance. Kas. I wonder if there a way/place/etc that could help sort this out from a social worker or other family services. I don't know if you might have any connections with your job.
I swear I'm not as messed up as I come across here. DB got me looking at my life from all angles. The fallout from my M affected everyone not just me. Some of ya'll had WAS's who still cared about their kids. Mine walked out leaving me a single parent for 6 months. These problems were all there before they just got magnified 1,000x after BD to the point where I could see them clearly. Take away all the distractions of complacency and all that's left is exposed.
We have evolved as a family and have gotten stroger but there are growing pains still.
These forums are for brainstorming ideas that fall in line with MWD DBing methods. Each poster needs to take in all the ideas, and if they have professionals involved, discuss them, and make choices.
Thank you!! I am DB'ing. DB'ing is about taking this opportunity to grow exponentially. Without pain most people aren't all that motivated to change. I've grown so much (albeit slowly) in 8 months. I'm excited though about getting D14 back. I will fix this I want to take care of her. I think WAH likes the idea of being a good parent but he doesn't want to give anything up. He was like this before I just never noticed it.
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KAS, if you are not in IC, do that first. You put your oxygen mask on before helping others. Then you help the children get theirs on. Do not wait.
So take the risk? Get into IC with confidence that I'll get more support in Jan/Feb?
Ok so I'm kinda messed up but it's in degrees now I think. My dr used to say if I take care of my kids, hold down a job, do adult things like pay my bills, eat, etc. then she considers me doing great. lol I've gone way past that and even more since WAH left. I surprise myself these days at how well considering my H of 28 years just left me for OW.
Ok so I'm kinda messed up but it's in degrees now I think.
We are all messed up. Not knowing we are messed up is the problem. When we know we are messed up, or how, then we can work on ourselves to address the issues.
My lady helps point out "my issues". As long as I am "listening" to her, I can make changes as needed. Same with other people in my life. my Kids, boss, friends, etc.
Taking each day as it comes, doing your best, making positive changes is all we can do.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Last edited by job; 12/17/1911:28 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
