S19 hates D14. I get it because I don't like her either. Please no bashing I already feel like crap because just now....I mean just now this very minute figured out what's wrong.
From all the learning, I did, this phrase stands out:
"Love the person, hate the behavior"
With my children, I validated the way they felt.
Child"I hate you dad!!!" ME:"I know (Pause) I still love you. Let's continue this discussion after you have had a chance to calmed down. "
Validation, boundaries, rewarding responsible behavior. Restricting irresponsible behavior. Parenting is not easy.
There is still friction between my kids (S19 and D17), but I have not hear the "I hate my sister" words for several years.
Look up "the 5 whys". It will help you get to the root of the deeper issue with your relationship with your child.
"The people are not the issue, it is the way they are interacting" Change the way you interact to fix the relationship.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
