Strength x2 right now. Obviously JJ and HJ have been through it but I don’t think either of the Ws were half as bad as yours. (No offense) Not saying you don’t have a chance I just suspect she hasn’t hit rock bottom yet.
My mother has some what been down this path. She said it wasn't until she got the divorce and dated for a while until it finally hit her one day that she still loved my father and wanted her family to remain together. I think I am a long way from any form of true Recon. If it happened tomorrow, I know that it wouldn't last because I am trying to control the outcome by manipulating with boundaries. It's simple when believed, I will not live in an open relationship. Believing again is taking the actions that justify that statement. Those actions have to be 100% real all the time. Knowing that one word or sentence will not magically make this happen. Only time will make this happen. Hope is a good thing but I think reality is knowing that she has to fully choose me or else this marriage will fail again. The Authentic strong me,not the passive-aggressive, manipulative me. Important to DB and live by strong principles. Alpha male behaviors with compassion.
You see the letter was great but I know that true remorse would be her pursuing me and to some degree begging for me to be her husband. Maybe I am wrong here but I don't think this will happen for a while. I think her job and her colleague friends are all reminders of her future dreams. Especially her job which she should be leaving in May. Once she changes her job then she will have a different perspective. She will move away from her divorced colleague friends etc... The reminder of what she had will slowly fade as well. This is just my opinion.
I think my timing may be best during that transition of her getting a new job, but who knows. I've read on here that actions and timing are everything. Unfortunately I should have been strong up front but with the exposure in town and with her job, maybe that has given me some time.
I do know that when she asked for separation in June, I left for 2 days and she was begging for me to come back. On discovery in July, I should have immediatley put her out the MB and DB'd like crazy. I will continue to DB and will see an IC to help with DB.
