Why do you think they need "one on one" time as opposed to "family time"?
This is embarrassing but I was so codependent/needy that I put WAH first. I put him first because I needed him to fix me. I never stood on my own two feet. He worked all the time and I neglected the kids. The reason they need one on one time is because they are operating from empty emotional tanks. Not only was I not there but WAH wasn't there either and now he's gone.
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Set up a family card game or board game (or Xbox, whatever) and have a mix tape playing with music you know everyone likes (or invite one or more to bring the music, or take turns)... Have fun snacks like popcorn or m&Ms available.
The girls will play the wii or a board game with me. Before we moved I'd gotten S19 to participate more but now I'm back to square one. He's upset and resents D14 for "getting everything". I think I can fix this but not unless I get more support.
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My S20 has Tourettes, which like Asperger's is considered by many docs to be on the high functioning end of the autism vspectrum, and shares some of the characteristics, and he always did better in group settings with his brother than he did one on one with us.
S19 was a hermit but now shockingly enough he is spending more time with me and sometimes D17.
