I am TRYING to put a moratorium about worrying about any of this until after the holidays. I'm not doing it all that well, but today definitely better than yesterday, better than the day before that, etc. Don't let him take this special time away from you and the kids, and don't let him ruin Christmas. Find ways to consciously relax yourself and take your mind off of him and back to your kids and all the people/places/things in your life ...
My guess is that his head is a total and complete mess right now. It totally does seem like rebellious teenager. Part of me wants to say at least you know he is capable of being a better partner even if he isn't right now, but the other part of me wants to say if that was so hard for him that he completely reverted and went 180 in the opposite direction, is he capable of being a decent partner and dad in the long term? He's just got to work this out for himself and unfortunately it isn't anything you can really help him with.
I think I am going to try to start a holiday moratorium myself. I spoke with a counselor today who told me I really need to focus on myself and the children right now.
I admit he is not the ideal partner but I love the "old him" unconditionally with all his imperfections. Crazy love is what they call it, I guess.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
