I am TRYING to put a moratorium about worrying about any of this until after the holidays. I'm not doing it all that well, but today definitely better than yesterday, better than the day before that, etc. Don't let him take this special time away from you and the kids, and don't let him ruin Christmas. Find ways to consciously relax yourself and take your mind off of him and back to your kids and all the people/places/things in your life that are good and bring you joy.
Originally Posted by HesAble
Originally Posted by may22
Question-- so your H got way better at helping out and then post-BD has completely stopped? Is he around for the kids at all these days?!
He got way better at helping out (committed to taking one kid to school certain days a week, was more willing to watch kids for me to run errands alone, helped with one of the kids' laundry, became more involved In school projects/meetings, etc.) After the BD, he does the bare minimum and not even consistently. It is like he got amnesia concerning the commitments he made to step up earlier in the year.
My guess is that his head is a total and complete mess right now. It totally does seem like rebellious teenager. Part of me wants to say at least you know he is capable of being a better partner even if he isn't right now, but the other part of me wants to say if that was so hard for him that he completely reverted and went 180 in the opposite direction, is he capable of being a decent partner and dad in the long term? He's just got to work this out for himself and unfortunately it isn't anything you can really help him with.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
