Have you seen an L just for a consult? It might make sense just to be sure you can know your rights and it is a positive step towards protecting yourself. Also, I could be wrong, but my understanding is that the longer you let things go on (like being OK with having less than 50-50 custody in the meantime) it could damage your prospects for it going forward.
It does seem to me like standing up for yourself and your own rights and for time with your kids can never be a bad thing from a DB perspective or not. Also, a side effect just may be that her fantasy starts to deteriorate... and likely things will get worse before they get better... but if things are pretty sh***ty right now, why not take a step in a positive direction for yourself even if it feels like a step away from R?
Stay strong. You got this!
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
