A year on and standing

[ToSmile]

Some stuffs happened earlier that made me snapped and lost my sh*t at her. I just regret that it was in front of the children but she really crossed the line.

Yesterday she brought the children over to her mother place for dinner and I was out GAL. By the time I came back, I saw everyone was sleeping and thus I thought it was a fine night except that she seems not to be feeling well with a few coughs through the night. This morning, she called in sick And mentioned she will not be going to work.

I was back during lunch to get food for the children and then back in the evening after work. Then, I was hinted by helper to be at home more often and be around with the kids. Something happened yesterday after they return from MIL place. I got my elder son over and asked him what happened? He started to narrate to me and broke down.

They got into a quarrel with the mother because they were playing with the console and phone when they were at the mother in law place. Then the mother gave him the silent treatment on the way back. And when they were home, they requested to play the console again but the mother does not allow. Then she got angry at them because “she was not feeling well” and pulled the trick which my mother did to her when she was a child and was so affected by.

She packed her bag threatening to leave the house. The elder one was shaken by it so much he went to the kitchen to take a knife and wanted to kill himself. Then she saw it and came back to stop him.

I was furious by this and tried to hold back. After a while when I got out to the living room, I saw the elder one sitting there with his dinner which he had only a plate of white rice and nothing else. No side dishes and such. I asked him what happened then he told me he is having an ulcer thus he is just taking plain rice. I guess something else and I took him to the dining table and my wife gave me a dirty look.

I could not take it anymore and start to confront her if the incident the day before. She relate what the elder one said, tried to justify that she was not feeling well and omitting the knife portion. I questioned her about it and told her that she is treating them like how her mother did to her and dumping her emotional baggage on them. Then she tried to challenge me saying I am the one who knows all and always the best. I told her there is no one who is the best and we are all learning to handle them. But her problem is she think she is always right and shoot others down. She is not fit to be a mother. Which decent mum will push a kid to such edge that he wanted to knife himself? The kids started crying at the table, we got into a staring match before she left the table to the study room and cry.

I told the kids it’s not their fault and they should never pull such self harming stance again. If there is anything and I am not around, just call me. The elder one then left the table and went to the bedroom to look for his mother. When I went in to look for him, she was hugging him and he was crying saying he does not want any of us to leave him. Then I told my wife u hear it from the horse mouth and so much thanks to your conditioning to the children about separation. You are affecting them but you refuse to acknowledge. I consoled him saying we all loves him and it saddened us that’s did such a thing.

Then he got over, I hugged him and he told me that he wanted me to tuck him in to sleep. Which I did so for him and the younger one before turning in because I am also running a fever. But now it is 2:35am at my place and I woke up with so much anger it is kind of eating me up. I am also considering to challenge the 50/50 custody previously agreed and limit her from overnight access to the children. Because she simply does not has the capability or patience for them. Most of the time when I am not around, they will erupt into a quarrel.

Considering such an incident happened yesterday and she was still quiet about it, really so much for co parenting for the best interest of the children. I am really so mad about it.