Dan, I would either not buy her a gift as Job and LH suggested, or if that just really bugs you then say something to her like "I figured given the state of things that we would not be exchanging gifts this year, is that what you were thinking as well?" The only reason I suggest that is despite everything, I imagine you would feel terrible if she did end up getting you something and you didn't have anything for her. But I definitely would not just "surprise" her with a gift because that will come off as pursuit.
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I also really want to write a little note for her to say effectively, "sorry that it came to this" but I know, I KNOW, that is not the right thing to do and won't really help anything. When D finally goes through it feels like a note would be closure, but I know this isn't Hollywood.
You are right. I know it's very tempting, but why are YOU apologizing for what SHE is doing. Yes you played a part in the demise of the M, but you are the one trying to save it and she is the one kicking it/ you to the curb. If anything, she is the one that owes you an apology.
