MLC or Exit Afffair?

[HesAble]

Breathe! First order of business is get your Christmas shopping done. Christmas is just a little bit over a week away and you need to put your kids first. As for what the plans are for Christmas...make plans and if he wants to join in, so be it. Don't wait on him.

Your expectation level of him is far, far too high. Lower the bar on this because he's acting out and like a teenager, he's only thinking of himself, i.e., selfish, feels entitled, etc. As for staying out all night and coming home in the morning...typical behavior of someone who is rebelling against "mom". Right now, he looks at you as an authority figure and he is doing everything in his power to run from his demons and yes, probably wanting you to react to his behavior and say something to him about it. Don't take his bait.

As for thinking about selling the home and alternate living options...one day at a time. I would first look around for alternate living options and then think about selling the home...but is there a rush to do this right now? If not, step back, focus on your children and you. Even though you don't feel like it, you've got this and your kids need to have a good holiday....

Job: thank you so much for this post. I really do need to BREATHE!!! I have been so stressed, frustrated and angry that my emotions are overwhelming me and stealing any hope for holiday spirit. I must focus on the kids and make sure their holiday is a nice one even if he does not give a crap.

I am going to follow your advice and inform him about our holiday plans. He can join us or not. I also am going to chill out with worrying about alternate living options at this moment. One day at a time is good advice. Also, thanks for the teenager-mom analogy. He is definitely treating me like an annoying "mom" and, I admit, the morning before the BD, I acted like a "mom", telling him he should not stay out drinking and driving then coming home at 3, 4 and 5 a.m., he needed to help more around the house, etc.