Cross countries separation EU

[Pack_19]

Hi all!

Thanks a lot for your comments! We do have a written agreement. When this all begun she threatened me in bad ways and even though I offered her to take some time in Spain she said this was no time but proper end of our M and I signed the agreement hoping it was the only path for R. At some point before leaving Germany she even took and hid the passports of our 2 children and that made me feel horrible (somehow I thought my W believes I am crazy to kidnap my own children, how is this possible?)

I am insisting on seeing them but all I get is replies like "I cannot make it work", "You are selfish and is my turn"...

I also have more doubts on my 180 and GAL. I was emotionally absent at home, I focused at work and missed my role as the lead of my M and family. She can see me upbeat and happy and being a good listener but if there is no communication how on earth is she supposed to see it. We talk strictly about the children and only in written form. When I have a breakdown and end up crying I think it is too soon (is only been 1.5 months since W left) and I remember the LRT, the lighthouse story and the support from all the people in this forum to get back on track.

I know the changes are for me, to be a better person. I was nervous and irritable at home, who wants to be around that? But I am spending a month closer to them and she keeps pushing me away. I have been focusing so much on creating a communication bridge that I am only getting frustration and pain. She has told me I am buying the love of S1 and S6 or that I am only the fun dad. My reply was "I want to be a full time father next to you but this is how our situation stands right now".

The worst feeling comes when I think about her dividing our assets and creating this new life without me. I know only attraction will get her back to consider R but how do you attract a person that is outside of your life?

I dont have many updates, GAL + 180 + being the best father I have ever been. This is the hardest trial I have ever endured and somehow I am confident and optimistic.

Thanks a lot for all the help!