Today is Sunday, my W's day with our son, but she has spend the day with him at our house (and her mum came too). We've had a nice little day overall and we talked a bit about Christmas.
She said she feels like "an outsider" with my family now (after 10 months of separation) and is uncomfortable doing things with my side of the family. I said " I can understand how you feel. As I've said before if we are going to work on our marriage I'll always have your back". She teared up a bit when she was talking too. The talk came up because she invited me to her family's Christmas dinner and she also wants to see her son Christmas morning. My plan was to stay over at my mom's place Christmas even with our son and spend the morning with my family.
Also - she's taking an interest in planning my son's bedroom in our house. Just interesting because if she isn't going to be here why does she care?
I have two questions:
1) In regards to Christmas - how much should I change my plans to accommodate her? I don't really want to spend Christmas morning with her if she doesn't want me in her life but my son wants her in his life. Also, the door for R seems to be more open than it was two months ago. She was thinking I would bring our son Christmas eve after my family party and spend the night at her moms so we can do Christmas in the morning. If I do that I feel like I'm just giving in to all her needs without recognizing my own.
2) Our relationship on many levels is better. We are talking more openly, laughing a fair bit and she's started to compliment me more again on my appearance. However, besides hugging there is no physical contact. She's always been one to say she can't be physical unless she feels emotionally connected and she's still struggling emotionally in different areas in her life. In anyone's experience....is this normal or a red flag? The lagging physical affection...
I'm just trying to be aware of things so I don't get caught up in believing things are different than they are.
Thanks, J
H 37 W 31 S 2
T: 7 M: 4
BD 12/18 Separated 2/19 Living back together 04/06/2019 W Moved out again 07/15/2019
