4 years pieced and still a work in progress!

[ovrrnbw]

Hi Ovr! You are such a valuable member of this community. I appreciate the advice you give to others. I am glad you post to me as well. I can relate to what you say about balancing instinct vs intellect. As hard as this M has been for the last 5-6 years, I do think in a lot of ways it has made me a stronger person. Hopefully a better person too. I was also more impatient and controlling in my M. I have let some of that go and am more willing to look at my part in things. I like to think there is a silver lining in overcoming all of this, because if not, I am left wondering, "why didn't I just move on and not let him back in?"

All it take to change those behaviors is to turn our world upside down, so at least we have that positive going for us!

Your W sounds like she was quite the stud. Softball is blowing up and gaining a lot of popularity. My youngest plays competitive soccer and just made a competitive softball team too. Softball has been a much bigger commitment than soccer! So now I will have 2 softball players and 1 that is also balancing soccer. Fortunately, the older made a change to a team with much less travel and a less demanding schedule. .... I also wish that my parents let me play competitive sports, or any sports for that matter, when I was growing up. I see sooo many positive benefits for my kids, it's amazing. They are growing into strong, confident, well rounded individuals. They are also learning that they can work well in a group, enjoy the rewards of benefiting from their hard work, and also handle losing and disappointments. I spend so many hours in the car with my teen and we talk about everything. I feel so lucky to have that R with her. ... I also need to recognize that I cannot project my own feelings of loss in my childhood onto them and push them too hard.

I can talk about my kids sports much more readily than marriage and M saving advice!

Blu

I think that your kids are great and they are benefiting so much. Good job Mom. And really god job on not pushing your own agenda onto their athletic careers. So many parents make that mistake. I've been floundering on having children this last year and a half, but hearing about our kids' adventures and talks and road trips makes me want them. Hope all is well.