Soft 2x4 here - Someone only controls and dominates when you allow them that power in your mind.
You're giving your W that power by reinforcing and repeating this idea in your own mind.
The situation always is what it is, no more no less. Maybe that sounds like zen nonsense, I get it, believe me I always used to think that too. But - have you tried not reacting to her decisions or her non-decisions?
LH55 told me one time "the reason you are so tired is because you are fighting everything she wants to do. Let her go be happy."
I would pick the most important things (time with the kids) and prioritize. I would recommend letting the small things go.
My 2 cents...
Enjoy time with family, man - take care and stay strong!
