Welcome. Sounds like you have been lurking here for a while. Glad you posted. I hope you stick around. We could use your POV.
You have some obstacles to over come. I think you are in a better place to save the marriage than most. I say this because there are no active affairs going on and you are still in the house and no paper work happening.
Lets start with this:
Quote
she texted me that some of our friends invited us over for dinner. It was sort of an informative statement, but implied as a question (i.e., do you want to go?). I want to go as a couple,
Me: "About dinner? Yes"
Her: "What should I say?"
Me: "I don't know, what do you think?"
Her: "Anything is fine with me"
Me: "Anything is fine with me too"
Silence. Conversation stops, we go about our business separately.
I learned that the man needs to be decisive. This is attractive. The woman does not want to make all the decisions. She wants her man to make decisions.
W:"H, friends invited us over for dinner." H:"Tell them we would love to join them."
Now, I would say. "W,I thought about dinner with friends. Tell them we would love to go."
As far as busting the divorce, I believe all the tools should work for you. You have to regain trust. You have to deal with all your issues. change your behavior in positive ways. Interact with her in ways that get you out of "friend zone", ways that she will find attractive.
I always advise learning as much as you can about attraction and seduction. Know the difference.
One of the first things to do is STOP ARGUING. From this point forward, you listen and validate. It is her story. Validate her feelings. In your case, you need to use phases like this:
"I am sorry I hurt you. I wish I could change the past" "I am so sorry I hurt you. I can't change the past"
I was inhaling 2-3 books a week during my sitch. Get to the book store and browse for forgiveness books, healing from infidelity...whatever subjects you would would like to improve in.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
