Divorce and Acceptance Part 4

[Pax_luv]

So now that I’ve had a day to decompress... it’s starting to sink in.

The trial will likely be 3 days in the fall, unless there’s a cancellation. I won’t have an official trial date until our next court date in Jan but the judge said they were booking into September already. I’ll pray for cancellations for something sooner.

The reality of the cost of going to trial is sinking in. I’ve been doing ok the last 6 months because of ex’s sanctions, but those will run out soon and I’ll be stuck scrounging to pay for a 25k trial. Surpisingly enough, the mediator said it would be worth the expense. It freaks me out... it was dire for me for a bit.

The mediator was definitely impartial but he let his feelings about the case be quite known. He thought ex and his lawyer were unrealistic and had a few choice words about them. Who knows what he was saying about me and my lawyer to them....

Anyway, he was very adament about not mediating the dog issue... “his time was too valuable for that.” But was certain we could come up with middle ground. Sigh.

He didn’t understand what ex’s problem was regarding the house. All I’m asking for is my half of the equity. The mediator was like, I don’t get it.... he pays her xxx, he keeps the house and still walks away with an asset worth 4 times what I’m walking with.

The mediator also poked some holes in my stuff too. Things I need to be aware of to protect myself from their arguments.

He mentioned the criminal/ illegal acts my ex did with our finances, and really tried to narrow down what their final # was. See, they didn’t propose anything to settle....only that ex got everything. So the mediator said, stop wasting my time now and give me your number. Ex and his lawyer came back with a number that didn’t even cover my legal fees to date. It was a hard no from me.

Ok and here’s where I’m reminded of what a petty arse my ex is. As we were dividing furniture, China, appliances etc in the house, basically I’m not wanting anything. I’ve moved on... it’s just stuff and anything left is tainted to me. I loved my wedding China and consulted my lawyer on it... but the reality is... it’s tainted to me. Marriage did represent something to me. I could have gotten it and sold it, but I don’t care about that money. I’m really not trying to nickel and and dime this.

So I said, the only thing I want is a birdhouse my grandfather made (value $0)
And a small copper windmill that was also my grandfathers. The copper may be worth something but thats not why I wanted it.

So the mediator was like fine, great, and ex’s lawyer was like “NO! It’s community property, she needs to pay ex half of the value if she wants it.” Meanwhile I’m giving ex EVERYTHING else in that house. The greed with these guys is off the charts.

Ok and this is when the beanie came up. (Rolls eyes). Petty petty petty petty.


Alright... so when I go to pick up my dog yesterday, the birdhouse that has been up this whole time is now gone. Yup. Petty petty petty. He knows I wanted it and was making sure I just didn’t take it.


And I know you are probably thinking to yourself- why didn’t you just get those things when you moved out, pax. It’s because he was the one who packed me up and I didn’t even think to go there. I was too emotional. At the beginning of this, it was only supposed to be a temporary separation and I treated it as such. He manipulated me out of the house. I was so so so so stupid.

Lessons learned. Definitely won’t happen again.